


Beardien Agreste Mustache You a Question

by Rikkapikasnikka



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste Grows a Beard, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Is a Little Shit, Bad Puns, Beard puns, Beards (Facial Hair), Cat Puns, F/M, Gen, Hot Mess Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Plagg Is So Done (Miraculous Ladybug)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24586432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rikkapikasnikka/pseuds/Rikkapikasnikka
Summary: Adrien had been waiting for this opportunity all year.His father was in Milan for a week to handle financial business. School was out for fall break. His next fencing tournament wouldn’t be for several months. His only obligations were to piano practice, homework assignments, and Akuma attacks. He was going to do this.Adrien Agreste was going to grow a beard.Written for LoveSquare Month on the Miraculous Fanworks Discord.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 96
Kudos: 243
Collections: June 2020 - Love Square²





	1. A Patchy Situation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/gifts), [Missnoodles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missnoodles/gifts).



> Just some quick story pieces for LoveSquare month on the server. First week is Adrinette. Second is Ladrien, then Marichat, and ends in Ladynoir. All four chapters will feature these parts of the Square, but will be interconnected stories - about Adrien/Chat's beard of course ;D
> 
> Big thank you to Cass and Noodles for the idea, and to my beta, also Cass, who stays up late to beta for me. <3

Adrien had been waiting for this opportunity all year.

His father was in Milan for a week to handle financial business. School was out for fall break. His next fencing tournament wouldn’t be for several months. His only obligations were to piano practice, homework assignments, and Akuma attacks. He was going to  _ do this. _

Adrien Agreste was going to grow a beard.

The entirety of his class and friend group had hit puberty, and a majority of the boys had started to grow facial hair. Gabriel had long since insisted that his son would remain clean-shaven - the younger he looked, the better, apparently - but Adrien found that he envied his male classmates. Nino had to shave every other day just to avoid scruff, and Luka was shaving daily - although Adrien had to remind himself that Luka was two years older, so that made sense. Ivan and Kim had grown beards, great beards even, and their girlfriends loved them. Even Max and Nathanael had fessed up.

“I can save more time by shaving than by maintaining it,” Max had shrugged. “Cost analysis showed it would be about the same either way, so I chose time.”

“Marc doesn’t like it,” Nathanael had admitted quietly while packing away his sketchbook. “He’s lucky, though. He doesn’t have to shave. Yet.”

“I wouldn’t mind a beard,” Nino had grumbled, already scratching his face in the late afternoon. “And Alya would love it. I’d just grow one out but Mum says it’s  _ tacky.” _ And Nino scowled fiercely, as if tacky was the worst thing his mother could call him. Adrien knew better.

“It would be unsightly,” his father had said, in that cold, unmoving voice of his that left no room for argument. “You’re too fair, and it wouldn’t work with our current demographics.”

And Gabriel hadn’t even looked at his son as he spoke.

So, this fall break, with his father gone and with so few responsibilities to attend to, Adrien decided he was going to grow out a beard. He’d show his father! He’d show his friends and they would all be impressed! He’d show Ladybug, and she would swoon and sigh and say--!

“Beards?” she raised an eyebrow when Chat asked her Friday night. They both had had their last classes before break today and were meeting up for patrol. They were perched together on a rooftop, overlooking some public square with lights and red and orange trees.

“Yeah!” He grinned, pointed teeth and all. “C’mon, most girls find them attractive.”

She snorted. “I… I  _ guess.” _ Ladybug fidgeted with her yo-yo for a moment, eyes looking out over the square and its civilians. “Depends on the man, I think. Some can pull it off, some can’t. There’s a really cute boy in my class that-- Well, if he tried to grow a beard, I think it’d just be a disaster!” 

Chat flinched. “That’s really harsh of you.”

She laughed. “Another friend of mine would probably look great with one, but he hates facial hair. And he’s a hardcore musician. So I’ve never seen him with more than scruff.”

“But what’s  _ your  _ opinion?” Chat pressed.

“I don’t know,  _ chaton.  _ Those are the only people I’ve ever thought about dating, y’know?”

Well, that conversation had resulted in more hurt than he had bargained for.

“Why do you want to grow a beard so bad?” Plagg asked later that evening, chowing through cheese wheels like he usually did after a run. “You’re just gonna have to shave it when your dad gets back anyway.”

“Maybe he’ll change his mind when he sees it,” Adrien said, tilting his head back and forth as he stared at his reflection in his bathroom mirror. He raised his chin and ran his fingers over what felt like smooth skin, but Adrien wasn’t worried: He had a whole week to grow something. Anything.

Plagg floated over, wedge of cheese in his hands, and snorted. “Yeah right. He’ll call Spectacles in and--”

“Her name is Nathalie, Plagg.”

“--have you carted off to the barbershop!”

Adrien frowned further and glared at Plagg. “Well, I’ll just refuse then.”

Plagg raised one tiny, kwami eyebrow and leaned closer. “Really?”

Yet Adrien was already wrinkling his nose. “Eugggh, get that stinky cheese out of here! I’m going to shower!”

His kwami cackled as he zoomed away, knowing he had won that conversation. 

But one win was not enough to get Plagg through the rest of the week. Agonizingly, there were no Akuma attacks, so Chat Noir never got to see Ladybug - which meant, there was no Ladybug to tell Chat to go home and just  _ shave it all off. _

Because Adrien was still a teenager, just shy of seventeen, and his facial hair had never had a chance to grow. It was fair, like his father had predicted, and in the first few days, it was patchy. Plagg did his best to hide his snark, but if his kid asked for honesty?

“Get rid of it,” Plagg would grumble. “It’s almost an embarrassment.”

By the end of fall break, however, Adrien had… Well,  _ technically, _ it was a beard. It was wispy, frail, and difficult to see - but it was definitely there. Adrien spent most of his Monday morning trimming it, tidying up the beard as neatly as he could. 

“Really, kid,” Plagg said as he settled into Adrien’s pocket. “Give up and shave it all off. Get rid of it.”

“No can do, Plagg.” Adrien sadly refused. “I worked hard for this!”

Plagg desperately hoped that Nathalie would be able to spot the wispy beard over the grainy video-call at breakfast, but she didn’t say anything at all regarding Adrien’s new look. Instead, she said the worst news Plagg had heard all week:

“Your father and I won’t be coming home until next Tuesday. The prospects in Milan didn’t turn out like we hoped. Your photoshoot will be rescheduled for…” She glanced down at the schedule on her phone, trying to juggle electronics. “...the weekend after we return. Maybe. Remember, you have Chinese on-”

“Today,” Adrien interrupted her. She looked at him, confused. “I have Chinese on Mondays, Nathalie.”

“Oh. Yes. Of course.”

“I gotta get going to school. Good luck in Milan.”

“Thank you, Adrien. Your father says hello.”

And that was the end of their conversation. Adrien had a feeling that Gabriel hadn’t really said anything, and Nathalie was just trying to soothe the hurt of having to stay in an empty mansion for another week, but Adrien was accustomed to the disappointment. So, he shouldered his school bag and went out to meet his bodyguard.

Plagg knew better than to get his hopes up that the Gorilla would say something, but all the man did was stare and open the back door like he always did. Maybe he could talk to Tikki; surely Marinette would be able to talk some sense into Adrien?

He knew that plan was immediately hopeless the second Adrien stepped out of the car.

“Marinette, good morning!”

“A...Adrien?!”

She hadn’t seen her crush in over a week, but she hadn’t expected his appearance to be so dramatically changed in only nine days. Adrien was dressed as perfectly as ever (with a designer as his father, he always had access to excellent style), and his smile was just as bright as usual (like sunshine, like songbirds in the morning, like dew on grass!), but there was something...off.

It hit her. 

His face was all wrong.

“Whoa, Dude.” 

Nino came up behind her, just as stunned as she was. Nino crossed his arms critically, looking his best friend up and down, and Marinette tried to shake herself from her stupor. She patted her cheeks, hoping that she was still dreaming, but when she opened her eyes, the nightmare had not faded.

Her long time love, Adrien Agreste, had grown a beard. 

And not just  _ any  _ beard, oh no. It had grown in thin and fair and weak, as blond as the hair on his head, and while he had trimmed it nicely and it was as neat as possible, it looked absolutely  _ horrible. _ Even Nino’s face dissolved into a wince. Marinette tried to keep smiling, she really did, but it was strained.

“You grew a beard,” Nino said neutrally.

“Yeah!” Adrien grinned. “Dad would never let me, and well, he’s out of town, sooo…”

Marinette desperately wished that Gabriel Agreste would return home soon, even though she knew how estranged Adrien’s relationship with his father was. But that beard did  _ not  _ do his good looks justice; his face was just too round, his nose too small, and his hair too blond. Maybe, she thought, when he was older, and his jawline had the time to sharpen and his hair to grow dark - as most blonds did, as they got older - it would look attractive.

Her cheeks went hot at the mental image of an older Adrien, with a better, fuller beard and a deeper voice. She held her face as she turned around, hoping to spare herself the embarrassment. 

“Marinette?” Adrien asked her, reaching forward and laying a hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“Yes!” she squeaked. “It’s too hot! The beard! No, wait--!”

“You think it’s hot?” Adrien asked, face lighting up like the Eiffel Tower on New Year’s Eve. Marinette felt her heart shrivel and die. Nino raised an eyebrow and shook his head at her from behind Adrien’s back, as if to say,  _ Do not feed into it. _

If she said yes, Adrien wouldn’t shave, and they’d be stuck with this monstrosity until Gabriel was back in town. 

But if she said no, that her words were a mistake of her blundering mouth, he’d be upset and sad. He’d mope all day long. He’d cry and blame her and then they’d never fall in love and get married and--

Marinette just couldn’t break his heart like that.

“Y-Yeah,” she stuttered out, giving him two big thumbs up as Nino dropped his head into his hands. “It’s really, uh, attractive! Looks great! Best beard ever!” 

“Wow!” Adrien suddenly darted forward and wrapped his arms around her. Marinette squeaked as he lifted her off the ground and spun her around. She clung to him desperately, but soon they were both laughing and he was setting her down again.

“Thank you, Marinette. I trust your judgement,” he whispered in her ear. His beard, as small as it was, tickled. She felt her face grow hot again.

“A-Anytime, Adrien,” she mumbled, still hugging him back. Gently, he kissed her cheek in thanks before pulling away and greeting Nino properly. 

Marinette, on the other hand, melted into a pile of goo on the front steps of Collège Françoise Dupont. Alya would find her there several minutes later, but she would be unable to reach her best friend as Marinette’s thoughts continued to spiral. 

How was she going to  _ fix _ this mess?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Come and join us on the Miraculous Fanworks Discord server!](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks)  
> We are a community of MLB fans who write, read, beta, collab, and even exchange fanfiction and fanart. We run events, Author AMAs, calendar prompts, writing and art sprints, and we even have a book club for fanfics! We even stream episodes and the New York special! Come join over 500 amazing, supportive Ladybug and Chat Noir fans today!


	2. Please Razor Hand Before Speaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette faces the consequences of accepting Adrien's beard. But maybe Ladybug can rectify Marinette's mistake?

How was she going to _fix_ this mess?

The short answer was that she just couldn’t. Breaking Adrien’s heart was not on her list of capabilities, and all throughout the school day, her will was tested. She knew it was hideous; _everyone_ knew it was hideous. But every single time his green eyes met hers, she melted. 

On the front steps, Marinette failed to find the words to tell Alya what had happened.

“You have to see it for yourself, Alya.” Marinette mumbled into her palms, eyes wide. “It is something that must be witnessed to understand.”

“Girl, you’re acting like you’ve seen a ghost,” Alya scolded, but she looked uneasy about it. Anything that spooked Marinette _this_ bad had to be big news. Not even Akumas phased her!

“I wish I had just seen a ghost.”

Eventually, Alya hauled her best friend to her feet, and they went to class together. Marinette paused outside of the classroom door, took a deep breath, and followed Alya inside.

Already, there was discourse.

Already, Adrien was turning to look at her. 

_Oh no, oh no…_

Beside her, Alya burst into laughter.

“Agreste, you grew a _beard?!”_

Adrien frowned, but before he could say a single word, Alix spoke up. 

“Tell him it’s ugly and that he needs to shave it.” 

“Hey!” Adrien rounded on her. “It’s not that bad! I’m telling you, Marinette--”

“I don’t trust you,” Alix said, turning her nose up into the air and crossing her arms. The rest of the class was watching with interest, but Marinette suspected they all had similar opinions. “Marinette carries more taste in her _socks_ than you do in that…thing.”

Adrien somehow managed to not look offended, but he did look back to Marinette as she quietly moved to her desk. She squeaked when he slammed his palms on the wood and leaned forward. Slowly, Marinette sat down.

“You said you liked it,” Adrien whimpered softly.

The whole class had their eyes on her as she gradually crumbled under his kitten eyes.

“I d-do…” Marinette confirmed. Loud groans erupted from everyone, even Max and Juleka; several students even threw their hands in the air.

“Yes!!” Adrien yipped, pumping a fist and returning to his seat. Alya sat down beside Marinette, confused.

“What’s going on now?” She whispered to her friend, but it was Nino who turned around in his chair. He gave her a disapproving look.

“If the class unanimously agreed that my bro’s beard needed to go, he was gonna shave it.” Nino sighed and gave an exaggerated shrug with his hands. “But now, well… You’ve fed the beast, Marinette. I hope you’re prepared.”

Marinette swallowed thickly. She most definitely was not.

* * *

The rest of her morning classes were a disaster.

Adrien was in most of them. Her classmates were in most of them. Several of them were glaring in _her_ direction, which just made it all the worse. Even Chloé and Lila had apparently agreed that the beard was bad - strange, considering their affections, but Marinette couldn’t blame them. The beard was an atrocity that would not be tolerated. 

As lunch time ticked closer and closer, Marinette could think of only one solution.

“Don’t even think about it, Marinette!” Tikki scolded her in the bathroom. Marinette had politely excused herself before the bell rang, in hopes of getting some alone time with her kwami. “You shouldn’t be transforming for personal reasons!”

“But everyone listens to Ladybug!” Marinette pleaded. “Adrien does! And I’m more confident as Ladybug--”

“Because you _are_ Ladybug!”

“--so maybe I’ll have the confidence to tell him the truth!” Marinette finished. Tikki sighed and shook her tiny head.

“I’m sorry, Marinette,” Tikki said quietly. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. It’s too much of a risk. How would Ladybug know that Adrien Agreste grew a beard?”

“Well, I could--”

Suddenly, her phone pinged loudly in her pocket. Marinette stiffened and pulled it out, knowing only _one_ type of alert had been assigned that specific tune. Sure enough, a news broadcast was already being displayed: Akuma attack. And the Akuma was close.

“Tikki, spots on!”

Ladybug dashed out of the girl’s restroom and into the locker room, which was thankfully still empty. Yet when she ran towards the courtyard to take to the sky, she slammed into someone running in the opposite direction. They both crumbled to the ground, groaning and holding their heads where they had collided. The other person must’ve had a hard head, because he recognised her first.

“L-Ladybug?!”

Ladybug rubbed the lump on her skull and slowly opened her eyes. They went wide with shock at the sight of blond hair, white shirt, and... Well...

“A-Adrien!” She squeaked, instantly picking herself up and standing. Ladybug held out a hand to him, which he took, and she pulled him to his feet. “Wh-What are you doing here?”

“Uh, I go to school here,” Adrien replied. Her eyes darted between his lovely, blond hair, his perfect green eyes, and the dreadfulness that still covered his chin. Too bad a collision with a superhero hadn’t knocked it off.

“Well, let’s get you somewhere safe, there’s an Akuma Alert out, and--” 

“Mwahaha!! I am Hairbinger! I will steal everyone’s hair, and then I shall never be bald again!”

The Akuma was perched on the roof of the courtyard, looking down over the students. Their outfit was surprisingly plain, just a simple white and gray cloth wrapped around their body. All of the details were in the various colours of hair - mostly brown, black, and blond, but also reds and blues and the occasional flash of pink - flowing from their head in long, winding ribbons. The hair seemed to have a mind of its own. 

Ladybug and Adrien watched helplessly as the Akuma jumped down and grabbed a fleeing teacher with their hair. The second the Akuma’s hair touched the teacher, all of the teacher’s hair was pulled away with the Akuma’s - leaving the teacher bald, and the Akuma’s hair even longer.

Adrien’s eyes went wide in horror, and Ladybug flinched in sympathy. She wouldn’t mind being bald for an Akuma fight, she supposed, but Adrien’s hair was a _staple._ She had missed it when he was Aspik, and she would miss it if he lost it now. But there was something else on his face she most certainly _wouldn’t_ miss.

The gears started turning in Ladybug’s mind.

* * *

“Hairbinger!” Ladybug called, standing up to her full, non-impressive height as Adrien darted behind her to hide. The Akuma turned their attention towards Ladybug, and she lifted her chin higher in spite. Adrien started to sneak backwards, but Ladybug grabbed his wrist to hold him close. “I have a proposal!”

“Ladybug, I really don’t think--” Adrien tried.

“I’m sorry, Adrien,” Ladybug whispered. “I need you, okay?”

He swallowed thickly. Her gaze was so earnest, so trusting, that he couldn’t bring himself to say no. Unsure of what he was getting himself into, Adrien nodded in confirmation. If Ladybug needed Adrien right now, he could be Adrien. Once she needed Chat Noir, he’d sneak away and be Chat Noir.

“What could you propose to me, Ladybug?!” Hairbinger called, slowly walking forward with their hips swaying and their hair trailing behind them.

“The most beautiful hair in the world of fashion!” Ladybug yanked Adrien out from behind her. He stumbled for a second before he stood up straight and tall and proud. Prouder than he should be, with that rambutan fuzz on his face.

The Akuma eyed them both warily before slowly walking forward and examining Adrien with a critical eye. Ladybug unhitched her yo-yo while they were distracted. Adrien noticed the movement, but only because he could read her so well, and he took a few steps forward, albeit hesitantly.

“And what do you want in exchange, Ladybug?” Hairbinger asked, stopping several meters away. The Akuma was obviously hesitant; Papillon must’ve warned them about falling for a possible trap. Ladybug opened her mouth to reply, but her eyes flickered to the floor. 

Adrien looked down and squeaked. He jumped away from the hair moving along the floor towards his shoes, and right into Ladybug’s arms. She caught him gracefully, and he stared at her with starstruck eyes. Spinning and flinging her yo-yo, Ladybug growled in displeasure and hauled them both up to the school’s roof, the Akuma roaring after them in anger.

“I guess that plan wasn’t going to work out,” Ladybug mumbled, setting Adrien down on the roof. He looked between her and the Akuma as it grabbed more victims and more hair.

“What did you want in exchange, Ladybug?” Adrien asked her, running his fingers through his hair, happy to still have it on his head. He wasn’t vain in any sense, but he did like _having_ hair. What he was not expecting was for her to flinch.

“I, uhm…” Ladybug shuffled her feet. Was she nervous? “Well, don’t take this the wrong way, Adrien, but uh…” 

“Wrong way…?” He repeated quietly. 

“I was kinda hoping they’d…take the beard too…”

Adrien’s heart shattered.

It felt like Ladybug had thrown a baseball through the window of his soul, and he was weeping as he slowly swept up the pieces. He was cutting his fingers on the sharp fragments, and he was getting soaked by the rain as he hung up a tarp to cover the jagged hole. The love of his life didn’t like his beard?! But Marinette had said--

“Y-You don’t like it?” Adrien whined. He scolded himself for the amount of _pathetic_ that had crept into his voice, but he couldn’t help it! He was devastated!

“I-I…” she stuttered, looking away and back down at the courtyard. Hairbinger’s hair was almost twice as long as it had been before, and Adrien thought he saw a bit of purple amongst the strands. Had the Akuma taken the hair from his classmates?

Ladybug lifted her head. “I’m sorry, Adrien.” Adrien looked back to her, and their eyes locked. She wavered for a second, before something hard and determined fell across her face. “You’re just… It’s not…”

“I’m just what?” He pressed. If Ladybug didn’t like the beard on him as Adrien, he didn’t stand a _chance_ as Chat Noir. 

“It’s…” She nibbled her bottom lip hard, but after another deep breath, Ladybug was talking again. “It just doesn’t look good right now.”

“It’s still growing!” Adrien pleaded.

“I know,” she said, her gaze softening. She reached upward and cupped his cheek, and he leaned into the touch. Even through her suit, her hand was warm. “But it’s just like a sapling. Some things just shouldn’t grow before their time.”

It still made his chest ache, but Adrien sighed into her palm. He lifted a hand and cupped it to his face before gently taking her wrist and pulling it to his lips in a tender kiss. Ladybug’s face bloomed into bursts of pink and red, and he smiled at the sight.

Their moment was short-lived.

“Ladybug, I will take Adrien Agreste’s hair with or without the proposal!” The Akuma cried, lifting themselves up onto the roof with their newly elongated locks. Ladybug yelped and dodged, but not quite fast enough. Determination flowing through him, Adrien flung himself in front of her, arms spread wide.

Having his hair removed from his scalp surprisingly didn’t hurt, but it was one of the oddest sensations he had ever experienced - and Chat Noir had once been covered in giant baby slobber. It was like his hair was wet, then dry, and then just gone. He closed his eyes tight, shuddering, but he gasped in surprise when a wire wrapped around his abdomen and yanked him backwards.

Ladybug swung them quickly away and into the locker room, where several other bald students were hiding. She put him down, took one glance at him, and snorted. 

Adrien pouted. “What?” He griped. Ladybug rolled her eyes.

“Might want to look in a mirror, hot stuff,” she said, clearly holding back a chuckle. “The Akuma took your eyebrows, too.”

His growing feelings of mortification and embarrassment were only amplified by her laughter as she left to rejoin the battlefield.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Come and join us on the Miraculous Fanworks Discord server!](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks)  
> We are a community of MLB fans who write, read, beta, collab, and even exchange fanfiction and fanart. We run events, Author AMAs, calendar prompts, writing and art sprints, and we even have a book club for fanfics! We even stream episodes and the New York special! Come join over 500 amazing, supportive Ladybug and Chat Noir fans today!


	3. Sorry To Burst Your Stubble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chat Noir and Ladybug take on Hairbinger. Chat visits Marinette to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote all of this in one day and Sibby was kind enough to beta for me  
> (Thank you Sibby I love you so very, very much)  
> Also, this chapter is like, super long  
> I'm so sorry 
> 
> Please enjoy. This story is running away from me very quickly.  
> Thank you to Noodles for providing artwork
> 
> Written for the Miraculous Fanworks Server's MariChat week.

At least in the locker room, Adrien was not alone in his sudden newfound lack of hair. Most of the students already here were also hairless, hiding from the Akuma still wreaking havoc outside. But he took Ladybug’s advice and escaped into the boys’ restrooms to take a peek at his face.

“Oohh,” Plagg sniggered as he swirled out of Adrien’s pocket. “Now this is just _sad.”_

Adrien, unfortunately, had to agree. He trusted Ladybug and knew that this appearance would be temporary, and he had never thought of himself as particularly vain, but Adrien was desperately missing his hair. His ears felt cold, like when one’s toes poke out from underneath the covers in the wintertime, and his scalp was oddly smooth and shiny. Adrien also discovered that his head was not perfectly round, for careful examination showed that it sloped just a smidge more steeply on one side. He desperately hoped that his father never made the same discovery.

“It’s...not that bad,” Adrien tried to counter. “I can even get over the lack of eyebrows; it’s not like anyone sees them when I’m transformed anyway.”

Plagg snickered as he floated around Adrien’s head. “And at least that terrible beard is gone!”

Adrien stuck out his lower lip and huffed. “That’s low even for you, Plagg. It wasn’t _that_ bad.”

“According to Ladybug, it was worth sacrificing all those luscious model locks in order to get rid of it.”

And that _stung,_ if Adrien was being honest with himself. Ladybug had been the person he had most wanted to impress, and now that he knew he didn’t stand a chance? What was he going to do? He reached up to rub the back of his neck, but Adrien stopped when he felt the oddly sleek skin there; even the peach fuzz was missing, and that just made him feel all the more violated.

“I have _no idea_ how I’m gonna put ears on this,” Plagg grumbled, floating around to the front and crossing his arms. “I’m gonna have to give you clips or something. Would that look too stupid?”

“What?” Adrien snapped his attention back to his Kwami. “ _Clips?_ Plagg, what’re you talking about?”

“Y’know, for the ears!” Plagg wiggled his own. “No time to think about it now, though--”

_“Ladybug, get your buggy hair back over here!”_

“--there’s an Akuma we need to catch.”

“You’re right,” Adrien steeled himself, setting his jaw and lifting his hands, clenching his fingers into fists. “Plagg, _claws out!”_

“Oooh great, I’ve always wanted to look like a Donskoy--”

But Plagg’s grumbling was swallowed up as he was sucked into the miraculous, although Adrien just closed his eyes and flinched as the transformation washed over him. He half-hoped that becoming Chat Noir would bring his hair back - just like becoming Mister Bug had taken away the Reflekta costume - but to his astonishment and terror, Plagg’s assessment was correct.

He was a hairless cat. 

If Adrien had looked just sad, Chat Noir looked like a right mess. He flinched visibly at his reflection in the mirror: while the suit was the same as always, and the bell was still in place, his burnished head nearly matched the polished surface of the metal chime at his throat. When he caught sight of Plagg’s addition, however, Chat groaned and threw his head back, hiding his face in his hands. He was careful to not poke his eyes out with his claws - despite his temptation to do so, just so he never had to look at himself again.

“Ladybug is going to _laugh_ at me again!” Chat whined, but he didn’t have time to mope - there was still an Akuma on the loose, and his Lady needed his help.

* * *

Ladybug was not at all prepared for her partner’s sudden appearance. She had been dodging, weaving, almost floundering against Hairbinger, and she was no closer to locating the akumatised object than she was when she had been protecting Adrien. She trusted Chat to show up eventually; she just hadn’t expected him to have already been affected by the Akuma.

“Chat!” Ladybug called after seeing a glimpse of him from the corner of her eye. She was running away from another multi-coloured length of hair that was trying to grab her, constantly making use of the second and third-floor railings to gain extra speed with her yo-yo. “We need to-- wait, _what?!”_

Chat batted away the tentacle of hair with his stick before retreating with her. He caught her wide, blue-eyed stare and smirked awkwardly back at her stunned expression. “Miss me, Buginette?” he cooed as they ran, but there was an edge to his voice that betrayed his nervousness.

“Of course, Chaton!” She smiled, jumping over another tendril that tried to grab her ankle. She ducked underneath the staircase, and Chat stopped right beside her. “But uh, I kinda miss your hair too. What’s with the headband?”

The cat ears were attached to his head via a wide, black strip of leather that was kept in place by his human ears. It wrapped further around the base of his skull, probably to prevent slippage, Ladybug thought, but the ears were still fully capable of moving. Right now, they were laying almost flat, accompanied by Chat’s wide, sad eyes staring right at her. 

He reached up and groped his bare scalp, and Ladybug watched him pull on one leathery, pointed cat ear before running his clawed hand over the other. His pout was so cute that she couldn’t hold herself back from giggling.

“I uh,” he fumbled, glancing briefly out from behind the staircase at the Akuma as his grip on his stick tightened. “I got ambushed on the way over, as a civilian.”

“And your Kwami didn’t return your hair?! Oh, that’s terrifying,” Ladybug teased, reaching up and lightly touching the ear closest to her. It swivelled and stood up straight, before flicking and lying back down. Chat himself barely flinched, focused as he was on the Akuma. “But at least that means the only hair we have to protect now is mine.”

Chat chuckled apprehensively, the sound reverberating in his chest. 

“And _hair_ I thought we’d just _tangle_ them up and _mousse-y_ our way out!” Chat joked, leaning back to grin at her. Ladybug raised an eyebrow.

“Very... _bald_ of you to assume this fight would be so easy, Chat Noir.”

Her partner gave her such an unamused look, that Ladybug couldn’t help cackling as she rushed back into the fight. With one powerful pitch, she threw her yo-yo around the opposite railing and dragged her body across the courtyard, drawing Hairbinger’s attention.

“Ladybug!” the Akuma cried, reaching out to snag the superhero, but the yo-yo’s pull was too fast. Ladybug landed gracefully on the second floor and broke into a run. Her mind was quickly going through a million scenarios as fast she could, but now that the Akuma had had the chance to gather so much hair, it was everywhere. On the floor, in the rafters, under her feet, behind her as it weaved its way through the air - even with Chat on the ground, he was unable to provide enough of a distraction for her to think. 

How could they get rid of it...?

Ladybug glanced back at the courtyard, watching Chat nimbly shuffle his way around vines of blue and black when she caught sight of the classroom behind him. She rounded the corner by grabbing onto the railing and flinging her weight, pushing off in the right direction with her calf. “Chat!” She shouted, hoping to grab his attention. “Into the Lab!”

 _“Combing_ right over, Milady!”

When Ladybug reached the stairs, she swung her legs over the railing and slid down, landing right behind Chat as he darted into her science classroom. The Akuma, thankfully, followed them inside, their grey and white outfit suddenly stark against the rainbow of hair around their body. The Akuma wasn’t even walking anymore - they preferred to be mobile via the thickest of the hair extensions.

“Close the door!” Ladybug ordered, and Chat shut it with his stick, extending it so it could reach from where he was standing beside the teacher’s desk. 

Now in close quarters, Hairbinger was truly a force to be feared. Ladybug and Chat had to keep on their toes, quite literally, to avoid being snagged. Ladybug gritted her teeth and tried to make it to the teacher’s desk beside Chat, but she was blocked by a wall of hair. 

“Where do you think you’re going, little louse?” the Akuma snarled. Ladybug grimaced and backflipped away, to the back of the classroom. Chat smacked the Akuma with his stick several times, yelling over the loud whispering of thousands of strands rubbing against each other.

“Hey, I think you need to get a _clip!_ We’re not _bun_ yet!”

“And you’re just a bag of fleas!” The Akuma rounded on Chat again, and he yelped and squealed as he was lifted into the air via his ankle. Ladybug ducked behind the back row of desks and carefully crept her way around the classroom’s edge to reach the teacher’s desk again. Chat kept trying to hit the Akuma with his stick, but his aim was off since he was flailing upside down. He had one hand holding onto his headband for his cat ears - as if he was afraid they would slip off his bald head.

Realising that their window of opportunity was narrowing, Ladybug gritted her teeth, darted forward to the teacher’s desk, and grabbed the bunsen burner. Just as the Akuma reached for her, Ladybug used her free hand to toss her yo-yo into the air.

_“Lucky Charm!”_

A red-and-spotted-black canister fell into her hands.

As Hairbinger triumphantly lifted their second hair-napped superhero into the air, Ladybug frantically fastened the Lucky Charm to the bunsen burner she had pilfered off Mme Mendeleiev’s desk. When the connections finally clicked together, she gave it an experimental push and smirked.

“Chaton, get ready!” 

“At your service, Milady! _Cataclysm!”_

It only took a second. The smouldering, ashy scent of burnt proteins and curling keratin penetrated the room faster than they could both handle. Blue flame licked from the top of the bunsen burner and easily caught onto Hairbinger’s unruly mane, jumping wildly from one lock to the next. Blond, brunet, blue, or purple, it didn’t matter - all of the hair started to quickly crumble into ash as Hairbinger screamed and shouted.

“My hair!! My beautiful hair! How-- How could you?!”

They dropped both superheroes quickly enough and attempted to flee the science lab. Chat Noir blocked the exit, flashing his teeth and looking oddly threatening with his naked head and narrowed eyes. Ladybug came up behind the Akuma and swung her yo-yo around their waist, securing them in place as the fire consumed the rest of the hair. The smell was near sickening, almost cloying, and the smoke triggered the sprinklers up above.

Together, Chat and Ladybug dragged Hairbinger out of the classroom, Now that their hair was short and frazzled, the akumatised object - a small, silver, flowering barrette - was easily visible. Chat Noir touched a single claw to it, and it dissolved.

“No one evil-doing for you little Akuma...”

Ladybug unwrapped her yo-yo wire from the Akuma and caught the butterfly before it could flutter away. She released it with a sigh, and together, she and her partner watched it flutter away into the afternoon sky. But before she could toss her yo-yo into the air and restore everyone’s heads back to their normal states, Chat stopped her and gestured towards the Akuma victim.

Where before they had been wrapped up in a white and grey cloth, the young girl was now in a crisp and austere medical gown. Her blonde hair was short, frizzled, and patchy. It almost reminded Ladybug of Adrien’s beard, but it was on her head instead, all fuzzy and fluff and split ends. Slowly, Chat approached her and knelt beside her.

“May I touch you?” he asked quietly. When the girl nodded, her arms crossed protectively over her chest, he laid a hand on her shoulder and rubbed it. Ladybug hovered nearby, watching.

“I’m going to give you a ride back, okay? Would you like that? Seeing Paris from above?”

Ladybug awkwardly shuffled her feet. Chat Noir was always better about comforting children and difficult Akuma victims like this, and she honestly had no idea what to say. She watched as the little girl nodded again, and Chat hoisted her into his arms, cradling her small body to his chest as best he could. They both turned to Ladybug, both of their heads catching and gleaming in the sunlight.

“Thank you, Mlle Ladybug,” the girl said quietly, and Ladybug smiled at her.

“We’ll always be here to save the day,” Ladybug said as she lifted her first and held it level with the child in Chat’s arms. “Pound it?”

Enthusiastically, the Akuma victim raised her fist and bumped it with Ladybug’s. “Pound it!”

Chat grinned, saluted, and pole-vaulted over to the school’s roof with a call of, “See ya around, LB!”

And with a fond smile on her face, Ladybug finally threw her Lucky Charm into the air, hoping that the next time she saw her partner, he would have his full head of fluffy, beautiful blond hair back.

_“Miraculous Ladybug!”_

* * *

Adrien was happy that he had been able to clear the scene before Ladybug cast her cure. All of his hair grew back while he was transporting the Akuma victim back home, eyebrows and beard included, and Adrien was able to return to school looking like he normally did - kind of.

Yet the thought at the front of his mind was that _Ladybug_ hadn’t liked his beard.

Adrien groaned into his pillows.

“Plagg, if she doesn’t like it on Adrien, she’s not going to like it on Chat!” He whined, kicking his feet. Plagg rolled his eyes and just ate more cheese.

“So what?” he drawled. “You’re the same person either way.”

“Yeah, but...” Slowly, Adrien lifted his face off his pillow, so his voice wasn’t so muffled. “I thought that, I don’t know, it’d make me look more manly. Or something. And she’d fall for me!”

Plagg sighed, exasperated. “Just have a relationship with cheese instead. It wouldn’t ask you to shave, and you can pretend that it calls you manly all the time!” And with gusto, the Kwami finished off his snack and patted his stomach in satisfaction. “That really hits the spot...”

Yet the teenager wasn’t convinced, and Adrien rolled over with a heavy sigh. “Maybe I’ll go see Marinette. _She_ thought it was a good look on me.”

A loud belch was the only answer Adrien received. For a while longer, as the sun sank towards the horizon, bathing Paris in ochres and mauves, he contemplated his predicament. His self-esteem was low. Most people had a poor opinion of his decision. His father would demand that his son shaved the second he was back in town. Ladybug had essentially told Adrien that he was trying too hard. Even the little girl, who had become an Akuma over her lack of hair, had wrinkled her nose when his beard grew back in.

“Plagg,” Adrien said, sitting up and pulling himself to the edge of his bed and setting his feet on the floor. “You good to go?”

“What?” His Kwami asked indignantly. “Again? Not even gonna let me digest my dinner?”

This time, Adrien rolled his eyes. “You’ll be fine. You’ll get more cheese when you get back.” And with a flourish, Adrien stood up. “Plagg, _claws out!”_

Over rooftops and bridges, Chat Noir ran and jumped and vaulted. He waved to those who spotted him, but as the sun’s light began to fade and twilight took its hold, fewer civilians were able to make out Chat’s dark suit. He would have patrol with Ladybug later, technically, but it was much too early to meet up with her. He had a different destination in mind.

And while he had been on top of Marinette’s balcony before, Chat Noir was still unsure if he was welcomed there. He was surprised to find her there, lounging in a cloth chair, scribbling away in a book with her tongue poking out. He tried to make as much noise as possible as he approached, but Marinette still jumped several inches when Chat landed on the chimney above.

“Ch-Chat Noir!” She stuttered out, closing her sketchbook and shoving it behind her as if she had something to hide. Chat had seen inside the book plenty of times as Adrien; it was full of rough designs and erase marks, outlines and smudges, sketches and drafts galore. He wondered why she felt like she had to hide it. “Wh-What uh, brings you here?”

He hopped from the chimney to the balcony railing, watching his balance as he gripped the narrow metal with all four limbs. “I...”

Chat hesitated, and she blinked at him curiously.

“I was lonely,” he finished lamely.

“...Again?” Marinette said quietly, sitting up and giving him a serious once over. He hadn’t yet stepped into the light, so he figured she couldn’t quite make out his features. She gave a quiet sigh before standing up.

“Will you wait here?” Marinette asked politely. Chat nodded. “I’ll be right back, I promise.”

“Of course, princess.”

She disappeared down her skylight, into her bedroom. Gingerly, Chat removed himself from the railing and sat on the white, wooden box at the base of her lounge chair, refusing to take her spot. As he waited for Marinette to come back, he looked around the cosy spot she had made for herself.

The scent of flowers, tea, and fabric. Pencil shavings and shampoo. Yeast and flour and sugar. It all hit his nose and he took it in, letting the combination of scents relax him. Marinette would have the answers; she wouldn’t lie to him, and her advice wouldn’t be clouded by revulsion of his beard.

All of his hopes were dashed when Marinette came back up through the skylight, took one look at him, yelped, and nearly dropped her tray. Chat stood up as fast as he could, catching her and her precious cargo before it could fall. Her blue eyes were blown wide and round, her cheeks flushed, and she was stuttering and blabbering as he carefully set the tray down on her round table.

“Y-You...!” Marinette bumbled, standing against the brick chimney and pointing a finger in his direction. “Ch-Chat Noir!”

He chuckled. “Yeah, that’s me,” he teased. “Handsome as always.” 

Her face twisted into something between confusion and distress as she dropped her hand. “You gr-grew a _beard?”_ Marinette squeaked out, slowly approaching him.

For some reason, Chat suddenly felt uneasy. Maybe visiting Marinette hadn’t been wise... Did she recognise the beard from Adrien? Would she make the connection? But surely, the protection magic of the Miraculous would conceal his identity? Right? Right!

Nervously, Chat nodded. “I did, princess,” he admitted lamely. “I...wanted to impress Ladybug. But...” He sighed, looking down as he scuffed his boot on the floor.

Marinette was standing right in front of him now, squinting up into his face. Chat blinked and gave her a strained smile. “Something on my face?” he asked playfully, leaning forward into her space until she flushed and backed away.

“Wh-What? No!” She crossed her arms over her chest and stuck up her chin, refusing to look at him as he chuckled. “You’re being meticulous-- I mean, ridiculous! You should brave, _shave!,_ before you see her next!”

Chat tilted his head at her as he turned and sat back down on the box. Her face was quickly turning several shades of brilliant pink, and Chat wasn’t sure how to respond. What had made her so embarrassed all of a sudden? Was it because she found the beard attractive, like earlier today?

“You don’t like it?” he asked, tilting his head in the other direction, feeling his ears flop from side-to-side. “Am I just asking for _stubble?_ Should I go back to the drawing _beard?”_

Marinette let loose a strained whine, and she fell into her lounge chair with her head in her hands, fingers curling into her dark hair as she tugged on it.

“I was _trimming_ with confidence earlier!” Chat continued, holding a hand to his heart and forehead and pretending to swoon. “I was sure I would be a _cut_ above the rest!”

“Chat!” Marinette cried out, lifting her head from her hands. “If you aren’t gonna stop with the puns, I _moustache_ you to leave!”

He fell off his box in surprise, green eyes stretched as wide as her’s had been earlier. They stared at each other as he remained sprawled on the floor, stunned and at a total loss for words, until Chat’s chest started to bubble and shake.

First, they giggled together, unable to help themselves. And when the giggling broke free from them both, they burst into full-on laughter. Marinette couldn’t hold herself back anymore, and she held onto her sides - surely, splitting into stitches by now - as she guffawed and snorted. Chat could feel tears at the corners of his eyes as he tried to hold himself back; he didn’t want to wake up her neighbours. But it was getting harder and harder to not dissolve into howling laughter as their smiles grew more and more contagious.

Finally, he took a deep, calming breath and wiped the tears from his eyes. He pushed himself off the floor and sat up, cross-legged, beside her table. Marinette too, coughed into her elbow a few times before righting herself and wiping her own eyes. She reached for the tray on the table and offered him a plate.

A couple of macarons, smooth and dainty, sat upon it. He took it carefully, mindful of his claws.

“Thanks,” Chat said, surprised that his voice was so hoarse.

“Anything for a friend,” Marinette replied, picking up the other plate and retreating back to her chair. She leaned back and stared up at the sky, which had darkened considerably in Chat’s time here. “Chat, can I ask you a question?”

He swallowed his bite of macaron. It tasted like citrus. “Of course.”

“Did you... Did you really grow a beard to impress Ladybug?”

Chat put his macaron back down on his plate. “I... I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

He shook his head, hair and ears swinging with the motion. “My...family always made me shave. My friends all had a chance to grow a beard, and I was jealous, I guess. So when my, uh, parents left to go on a trip, I thought, hey, why not?”

Marinette hummed in understanding, chewing thoughtfully on her macaron. “You’ll have to shave it when they return, huh?”

“Yeah, most likely. Dad will throw a fit but hey, at least he’ll be talking to me for once.”

Both of them flinched at the vulnerability behind his words. “Sorry,” Chat apologised. “Too much?”

“No,” Marinette said slowly. “You’re allowed to...vent. And feel irritated. So,” she cleared her throat and sat up straight again. “It’s more of a...rebelling against authority thing?”

His nose scrunched up, and his mask was wrinkled along with it. “I _guess,”_ Chat admitted, but her words didn’t ring right with him. He wasn’t rebelling against Gabriel by growing a beard, was he? Chat knew he would have to shave it off eventually.

“I think it is,” Marinette reiterated, eating the rest of her macaron. “Has, uhm, Ladybug seen it yet?” 

Chat shook his head. “Did you see that Akuma earlier today?”

“Yeah, Hairbinger? They were really scary.”

“They got to me before I could transform,” Chat pouted. “And I returned the Akuma victim home. I’ll admit I, uh...” He couldn’t tell Marinette exactly why he had been so skittish about Ladybug seeing his beard, so he would have to be vague on the details. “...I got cold feet about her seeing it. So I left while I was still...bald.”

Marinette smiled at him softly, but her eyes carried a sadness in them.

“I’m sorry, Minou.” 

“It’s not your fault, princess.”

They sat in a comfortable silence while they finished up their cookies, but Chat soon sighed and got to his feet. 

“I have to meet up with her soon, y’know,” he told Marinette, looking out over Paris, towards the meeting point. “She’ll definitely see it then.”

A hand, small and warm, picked up his own. Chat glanced down at Marinette as she gave him a wide, encouraging grin and rubbed her thumb along the tops of his knuckles.

“You’ll never know what she really thinks about it until you show her,” she said softly. 

Chat let out a bark of laughter. “Ha! You’re right, purrincess!” He purred, pleased by her attempt to motivate him. “I guess I can hope for the best, yeah?”

“You never know until you try!” And Marinette’s hand slipped from his as she backed away. Pleased, Chat unhooked his stick from his back and hopped back onto her railing, swaying on three limbs before he found his balance.

“Thanks, Marinette,” Chat said, looking back at her. She stood up and took a few steps towards him, stood up on the tips of her toes, and kissed his cheek. Chat felt his face grow warm where her lips touched him.

“You’re welcome, Adrien.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Come and join us on the Miraculous Fanworks Discord server!](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks)  
> We are a community of MLB fans who write, read, beta, collab, and even exchange fanfiction and fanart. We run events, Author AMAs, calendar prompts, writing and art sprints, and we even have a book club for fanfics! We even stream episodes and the New York special! Come join over 500 amazing, supportive Ladybug and Chat Noir fans today!


	4. Shaving the Way For Good Intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Marinette knows his identity, Chat has to tell Ladybug the truth...
> 
> But the real reveal is still on his chin. How will Ladybug react when she sees that her partner has grown a beard?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a really bad person   
> Hi here's chapter four!!! Please enjoy!
> 
> Thank you once again to Cass and Noodles for inspiring and creating this story with me. I'm glad to have it finally be done. This is the LadyNoir chapter of the June LoveSquare fic.

_ “You’re welcome, Adrien.” _

Chat Noir nearly toppled off her balcony railing as Marinette pulled away. She winked at him, turned around, and left - slipping through her skylight like a fox slides back into its burrow, smirking as she shut the trapdoor closed. Chat opened and closed his mouth several times, his eyes dry from how wide they were, as he desperately tried to rationalise what had just happened.

“She… She knows!” he wailed, grabbing his hair and tugging on it. His claws dug into his scalp, but Chat couldn’t find it within himself to care. If anything, the extra bit of pain allowed him to focus. He teetered on the railing, his balance unsettled as he tried to reconcile with this new information.

Marinette knew who he was. She had uncovered his secret identity. She had made the connection because of his  _ beard. _ Groaning, wondering what he was going to tell his Lady, Chat decided to refocus and take things one step at a time. He lengthed his stick and pole-vaulted over to the next rooftop.

“I have to tell Ladybug,” he muttered to himself as he ran and lept over chimneys. “And th-then…” Chat swallowed thickly, fear running up and down his spine. If Ladybug insisted on following the rules Master Fu had set up, he would have to give up his Miraculous: give up being a superhero, give up his freedom, give up Plagg…

“But if I don’t tell Ladybug…” Chat continued to mumble, trying to organise his thoughts. They were jumbled and distorted, but he could do this! With the cool night air passing over his face and through his hair, with his beard keeping his chin warm, Chat could clear his head and find a solution. “If I don’t tell her, that’s as bad as lying.” 

And he couldn’t lie to her, not about this.

He still stopped three rooftops later to wheeze, pull at his hair, pace around in quick, frantic circles, and scream into his hands.

Chat was glad Plagg wasn’t here to tease him, but at the same time, he wished he had someone to rant at. Talking to himself just wasn’t working, no matter how many times he tried to think things through. He just couldn’t see a positive outcome to this!

“But…” Chat said slowly, finally coming to a stop. “Ladybug trusts Marinette, doesn’t she?” He pulled on his hair a little harder before he let his hands fall down. 

“She trusted her with the mouse,” he mumbled, staring at his palms. “And all those other kwamis and their jewels.” He was still amazed and baffled by Marinette’s brilliance that day. “So surely…”

Chat whipped around, his belt tail flicking excitedly as he looked towards their meeting spot. “Surely LB won’t mind that Marinette knows?”

He wouldn’t dare to be hopeful, but it was a spark of joy in his heart. Besides, would it really be so bad? To have someone to talk to, to share everything with, that wasn’t a snarky, gluttonous manifestation of destruction? Someone human, and warm, and kind, and willing to provide free croissants?

Okay, he didn’t know if that last part was true, but Chat secretly hoped it was.

He took a few steps backwards, then darted forward, feet slapping the roof tiles as he ran and launched himself back into the air. His heart was pounding in his chest, as deep and fast as a drum, and Chat could feel the pumping of his blood in his throat and ears. Yet his hands and legs were surprisingly numb with anxiety, his claws nervously clicking against his baton. He had to get this over with and hope for the best.

The superhero duo did not always agree to meet at the Eiffel Tower. It was too obvious of a landmark, brightly lit and easily seeable from a distance, and a prime target for Akuma attacks. Yet it was  _ the _ monument of their city, and occasionally, they felt the Eiffel’s alluring call. It was taller than any other structure, taller than any of the buildings, and from the very top, Ladybug and Chat Noir could see all of the crisscrossing streets and glittering lights of Paris.

She was already there, he could tell, perched near the top on one of the beams. Chat could make out her swinging feet as he approached, and he admired her laid-back bravery as she dangled her legs over nearly three-hundred metres of empty air. With one last push, he vaulted to the base, and then he began his parkour journey to the top.

And Chat made sure to put a bit of a show on for her as he went, once he noticed that she was watching.

Ladybug clapped politely when he landed next to her and dramatically bowed. “Oh, bravo!” she cheered, grinning from ear to ear. Chat stood up straight, took a deep breath, then flourished into a bow again. Ladybug laughed, covering her mouth with a hand. With fluid grace, she pushed herself to her feet and stood in front of him. Ladybug pulled him up, straightening his back so that he was forced to look into her deep, blue eyes.

A sigh left him. All of his bravado left in a hurry, and his shoulders slumped. He looked down at the iron beam. Here, with the orange lights all around them and their close proximity and a distinct lack of hair-stealing Akumas, he could not hide his shame.

Gently, Ladybug touched his chin, and Chat looked up at her with sad, pleading eyes.

“You grew a beard?” she asked quietly, but Chat felt confused. Was that a flicker of amusement in her expression?

“I… yeah,” he admitted, pouting. “I wanted to impress you. I realise how stupid that is now.”

“It’s not stupid.”

“Yeah, it is.” Chat stepped back, taking his chin out of her hand. She dropped her arm and didn’t reach for him again. “It was a huge mistake, too.”

Her brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

He crossed his arms and hugged himself, running his clawed hands up and down his biceps as if he were cold. He nibbled his lip, sharp teeth poking into soft flesh, and Ladybug calmly stepped back into his personal space to lay a gentle hand on his shoulder. Chat breathed a little easier at her touch, and he leaned into it.

“Someone…” He hesitated, swallowed thickly, and tried again. “Someone recognised me, LB. Because of it. Because of the  _ beard. _ I don’t know how that’s possible, but she did, and--” He took a deep breath that rattled his lungs and quivered in his throat, before it left him with a shudder. His sinuses felt full and painful, but he held back the tears before they could fall. “And I have to tell you who, but I don’t want to lose-- to lose…”

Chat sniffled, hating himself for turning emotional in front of her.

Her head tilted in curiosity, her brow furrowed. “Lose what?” she asked him, gently coaxing an answer from him as she started to rub his back.

“This.” Chat gestured between them. “That.” And he swept his hand across the view of Paris. “Everything.”

Ladybug was quiet. She looked like she was contemplating her answer, but before she could arrive at a decision, Chat felt the implicit need to defend himself. 

“She can be trusted,” he blurted out. “I trust her. You trust her. I know she’d keep this a secret and--”

“Whoa, whoa,  _ chaton!” _ Ladybug stopped him, her eyes going wide. “What’re you talking about?” 

“Aren’t you going to take Plagg away?”

They both went stock-still, frozen in place. Her blue eyes had grown even wider, her pupils shrinking as her face fell. Ladybug took a step away from him, her hand falling from his back to cross over her chest and wrap around her opposite arm. Her grip on herself was so tight, Chat could see the suit give.

“I…”

When Ladybug drew a deep breath through her nose, Chat copied her.

“I couldn’t do that to you. I wouldn’t. Not now that I know.”

He felt his brow furrow as confusion wiggled in his mind. A strange, perplexing thought ran through his head, just out of reach, and Chat struggled with the words to voice the connections he couldn’t make. He floundered with his claws flexing in front of him, as if he could physically grab his thoughts and examine them.

“I don’t understand?” Chat whined. Ladybug smiled, but her smile was more amused than kind, and he pouted. “Are you making fun of me?”

She laughed, deep and beautiful, and Chat felt his pride take another blow despite having lost its footing long ago.

“I’m-- I’m not trying to!” She held her belly as she giggled, but soon, Ladybug was coughing into her hand and standing straight again. “I’m sorry. Forgive me?”

“For what?” he grumbled, his cat ears falling flat, his face still pulled into a pout.

"Because I already know who found out," Ladybug said. Chat glanced up at her, confused. Had Marinette already told Ladybug what she knew? Yet Chat had known Ladybug was waiting for him shortly after he left Marinette's. Did Marinette tell Ladybug before she told Chat? But that didn't make sense; Marinette had only seen  _ Adrien _ with the beard before tonight. So…

"Personally," Ladybug continued, thoughtfully tapping her chin. "I think the beard's too hot for you, but she told me it doesn't look good. She said something about growing before it's time?"

Chat blinked, confused.

"But--" Chat tried to untangle the pieces.  _ Ladybug _ had been the one to tell Adrien the beard was bad;  _ Marinette _ had said the beard was too hot. She'd said it multiple times, until--

Tonight. She'd seemed unsettled by it, more than anything. He had cracked jokes to help her relax, and they'd shared a few laughs, but…

Slowly, things tried to fall into place, but Chat's brain kept revolving around one point.

"So you really think it's hot?" he purred, sidling up to her and lifting his eyebrows. Ladybug giggled.

He really hoped he could get her to laugh again, now that he was starting to recognise it.

"Only a little," she admitted, holding her fingers up, the tips a centimetre apart. "Just hot enough for a  _ side-burn _ ."

Chat's jaw dropped in surprise, and then he laughed. She chuckled with him, and he leaned in further. When Ladybug didn't back away or tell him off, he took that as his cue to continue.

“Does that mean I can _ comb _ on over more often?” he said lowly, raising his eyebrows under the mask. To his chagrin, Ladybug snorted.

“You already used that one today.” She pushed a finger into his nose, and Chat gave her a stupidly wide grin. She rolled her eyes, but the fondness in her expression did not leave. “But… I’ll relent. On one condition.”

“Anything,” Chat promised, the bubbling excitement in his gut replacing all of his former anxiety. She knew who he was! She was letting him keep the ring! He knew her! He could read all of it, every motion and unsaid word of it, in her body language, in her eyes, in her teasing flash of teeth and the quirk of her lips and the slight tilt of her head.

“We shave that monstrosity off. Tonight.”

Chat didn’t even hesitate.

“Done and done, Milady.”

* * *

She wanted to watch.

It wasn’t that Ladybug didn’t trust him; oh no, she trusted Chat Noir to follow through on this very, very much. It was that she wanted some sort of conclusion, some sense of satisfaction, while Chat slowly and carefully shaved it away and she let it fall down the drain. She wanted to  _ be _ there when it happened, if only to confirm the act with her own eyes and put her troubled heart to rest.

Knowing Chat Noir’s identity via his beard was one thing.

Following Chat Noir to Adrien’s house, zipping through his window, and watching him detransform into her sensitive, generous, and kind blond classmate was entirely another. 

“Uhm,” he mumbled as he turned around, his Kwami but a blur as Plagg zoomed off to another part of the room. “It’s… It’s not much, but make yourself at home?”

Ladybug stood beside the window, wondering at the irony of his words. Adrien’s room had always been overwhelming: too spacious, too crowded, and too busy all at once. She walked towards him, fidgeting with her yo-yo, before she clipped it to her side. He watched her approach, and his expression became more and more uneasy.

“Ladybug?” he asked, quietly. She tried to smile, but her lips could only twitch upwards.

“Let’s get started, yeah?”

“Yeah…”

She wasn’t sure what he expected of her as they entered the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the bathtub as he passed by her. Adrien shrugged off his overshirt, glanced at her awkwardly, and then pulled his t-shirt over his head. He tossed both in a laundry basket, grabbed a clean, white towel, and walked back to the bathroom sink. She could tell he was nervous--and she was trying not to stare at his bare chest too much--but about what, she wasn’t sure.

“Are…” Adrien swallowed thickly, his palms resting on the counter as he looked at her reflection in the mirror. Their eyes met, but he glanced away. “Are you going to...stay like that?”

Ladybug inhaled sharply. She didn’t move or speak for several seconds, frozen in a state of fear and confusion and the urge to flee. If she detransformed, too, all doubt would be erased. Sure, Ladybug had practically all but confirmed her identity at the Eiffel, but…

But revealing herself, revealing Marinette, would be like stripping herself naked, just like his back.

“It’s… It’s okay if you do,” Adrien whispered to himself, but she could hear the disappointment.

“Tikki,” Ladybug said, her physical voice sounding more confident than the one inside her head, “Spots off.”

Adrien whirled around and Marinette trembled under the look of wonder on his face. His green eyes were wide, his lips were parted in astonishment, and his beard, as thin as it was, seemed fluffier--as if he had goosebumps.

“Wow,” he breathed, and Marinette felt her hands shake. 

“L-Let’s get this over with,” she stated, standing up to take charge and change the course of their conversation. Adrien smiled at her, bright and eager.

“Only for you, Milady.”

First, they washed his face. Some warm water, face wash, and a wet washcloth later, they had relaxed around each other. Adrien tried to crack a few more jokes, Marinette rolled her eyes, and when he said a particularly ridiculous pun, she groaned and dropped the canister of shaving cream on the counter.

“I  _ soap _ you still like my face afterwards,” Adrien cooed, giggling when the canister hit the countertop. Marinette turned away, almost ready to stomp out of his bathroom and leave him to it, but then she remembered why she was here. She whirled back, hands on her hips.

“Do you want my help or not?” Marinette grumbled.

“Milady, I’ve been shaving since I was thirteen, I think I can handle it.”

Marinette glared at the razor handle Adrien was waving in her direction. Her shoulders fell, and she sighed as she walked back. Careful not to brush against him, Marinette turned on the sink and plugged the drain, letting it fill with warm water. 

“Should we clip it first?” Marinette asked, glancing up at him. Adrien scrunched up his nose, ran his fingers through what little hair there was, and then shook his head.

“No, it’s… There’s not much. I should be fine.” But then he frowned, and he looked down to meet her eyes. Marinette turned off the water, but even as she pulled away, Adrien’s gaze followed her. “But is it weird that I feel like I’m killing off a friend?”

Marinette snorted. “More like an enemy.”

“It’s not an Akuma!” Adrien snapped back, and Marinette winced in disagreement. Adrien frowned. “Sorry, it’s just…” He ran his fingers through the short, wet hairs again. He sighed, picked up the canister, and started to shake it vigorously. “I feel like I did this for a reason, and I can’t shake the feeling that I messed everything up.”

Marinette leaned backwards against the counter, watching his arm move. She had always known those muscles belonged to Adrien, but now that she knew, she could see Chat’s shape in them too.

Oh dear…

“I don’t think you messed up,” she whispered, her fingers curling around the counter’s lip in an attempt to anchor herself and prevent fidgeting. “You wanted to rebel, you wanted to try something new. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“You think so?” Adrien frowned, stopping the shaking so he could squirt the shaving cream into his other palm. “Even if this was the wrong way to go about it?”

_ “Definitely _ the wrong way.” Marinette laughed. “But we can find a better one.”

“Yeah?” He wasn’t looking at her anymore. Instead, Adrien was focused intently on lathering up his face, and Marinette tried not to think that he looked like a much-too-young Santa Claus; he’d surely find a pun in there somewhere. “Like what?”

“Well…” Marinette tapped the underside of the counter with her fingers, summoned up all her remaining courage, and forced words out of her mouth before they could desert her. “You apparently have an effective way of sneaking out of the house. We could go see a movie.”

He paused, shaving cream dripping from his chin. Brilliant and wide green eyes sought out her face, but Marinette was too nervous to look back. Instead, she watched a drop of foam fall and hit the floor. Ah; that was why he had taken off his shirt. 

“A movie, Milady?” he squeaked, and Marinette giggled awkwardly. 

“As long as it’s not a horror film,” she clarified quickly.

“Just the two of us?”

Marinette bit back the urge to backtrack, to insist that they bring all of their friends, to suggest inviting Alya and Nino and Kagami and Luka and--

“Well,” she said, her face splitting into a smirk as she finally met his eyes. Adrien gulped loudly; she could see his Adam’s apple move even under the cream. “As long as you’re not too  _ beard _ about it.”

Adrien laughed, his shoulders shaking as more shaving cream dripped off his face. He dipped the razor into the water, and he grinned mischievously into the mirror as he finally got to work.

“I’ll make sure to  _ shave  _ a date, Milady.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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